*According to heretohelp, symptoms of NPD include: pattern of feeling overly important, needing admiration from others and having a lack of empathy.
I spent most of my younger years putting others first and not paying attention to a lot of my own health issues, both mental and physical, and that is something that I definitely needed to do — I had five kids.
But then I had Oprah–and her show–come along in order to teach me (and millions of others of course!) that I needed to start taking care of myself before I could give the best care to others.
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“You can’t give what you don’t have” was the idea that resonated with me the most.
And so I learned a lot from the many experts she had on her show about how important it is to balance everything; eating, sleeping, working, having fun, relaxing, and socializing.
But — now, as I have gotten older — and much wiser — I realize that I need to be careful that I don’t go too far the other way! I was raised by a mother who had had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Our family not only didn’t know that she had it! but didn’t know it existed until just a few years ago. As a consequence of THAT I was very mixed up about the self-care issue. I’ve come to understand that I have subconsciously picked up some narcissistic traits, even as I tried to do the opposite!! And I need to be careful not to let self-care become self-centered. Because I always understood narcissism to be self-LOVE.
It was only while educating myself about NPD that I found out that it’s not self-love at all (my mother seem to hate herself most of the time!) Narcissism is self obsession.
And I am learning that the best cure for that is coming full circle — helping others!